Showing posts with label being a working mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being a working mother. Show all posts

Thursday 5 January 2017

Does Your Gender Affect Your Writing Success?

Here is a loaded question, and I would be very interested to receive some responses in the comments below. I am currently reading On Writing by Stephen King, and I have reached the section of the book where he tells us that if we are serious about writing, we actually have to do it. We cannot keep putting it off and blaming our life circumstances, our lack of free time, and all the other millions of excuses we come up with.

Now, I totally agree with that. But one sentence in King’s book struck a chord. He wrote that he was fortunate to have a “self-sufficient wife” and she allowed him to hide away and write whenever he needed to. They have children, and he wrote his novels and short stories since before they were born and throughout their lives. Did his wife shoulder the parental responsibility, and do all the boring, everyday essential tasks of caring for the children before he found fame and fortune?



I would say that I have a self-sufficient husband. In fact, he is so self-sufficient that I am often left at home with the children, and I do 99% of the household chores, nurturing, caring, doctors’ appointments, etc. My husband simply works, in a demanding job that takes him away from the family home for anything up to sixteen hours every day, five days a week. He then spends the weekends ‘catching up’ on his personal affairs, and sleeping because he so exhausted from working all week. But he provides the income, and I must accept that.

In order to follow Stephen King’s advice, I need to change that model of behaviour. My husband refuses to make his work hours more flexible, or even to book time off that he is legally allowed (that is a whole other saga!). He did recently have a pay rise, however. Our cashflow is not brilliant, but if I am to look at the bigger picture, I need some help with childcare. To that end, I plan to investigate the costs of childcare, and see what I can fit around preschool and school. Then perhaps I can find time to finish the manuscripts I have languishing on my hard drive, and finally get my career established professionally.

How do you fit writing in around family and work?


Did you enjoy this article? Join my tribe today, and I will send you a fabulous FREE book to get you started… (be warned, my vampires do not sparkle, and my wolves will bite!) 

Thursday 10 December 2015

“But You’re Still in Your Pyjamas!”

This was the incredulous response from my husband sometime during the madness of NaNoWriMo. It was a Sunday morning, and I had got up earlier with our toddler, prepared some breakfast snacks for the children, and then settled down at my computer to tackle the word count. My husband came downstairs after having a lie in bed, and our children kept him busy while I worked.


When he entered the room and I told him I had been busy all morning, he just stared at my dishevelled appearance.
“But,” he said, “You are still in your pyjamas!”
“Yes,” I replied, “But that is the beauty of being a writer and working from home. My pyjamas are my work uniform.”
My husband simply shook his head in despair and walked away.
Ha ha!

Wednesday 28 October 2015

And now, back to the Writing! #NaNoWriMo 2015

Oh yes, the time has come! We are fast approaching that marvellous month of madness and mayhem…it is time for National Novel Writing Month, 2015. And this year I am ready and raring to go. There is one slight problem: I don’t have a clue what I am going to write! But that’s never stopped me before… and this year I have a team of writing buddies on hand to assist, which is fabulous. We are forming our own little NaNoWriMo group, just the three of us for now, although we may persuade a few more to join us as we progress.


Part of the joy of NaNoWriMo is the sense of community and comradeship that we find. Although I have not yet managed to attend local write-in sessions for our regional writing groups, I now have people in my home town that will participate this year, and we have a central venue in which to work together. Amazing! And then, of course, I will have all of my lovely supporters via Twitter and the NaNoWriMo forums. We are always there to console and cajole at odd hours of the day or night, such is the all-consuming madness of the month.


So, for the next couple of days, I must prepare my home and my family for the abandonment that is to come. Fortunately, my elder daughter is now in school, so she is happy to relax when she gets home in the evenings. My younger daughter attends preschool, so I do have at least two days in the week for solid writing sessions. And the rest, well, I will do what I can around the domestic responsibilities. November will be a month for ready meals (sorry kids!), a dusty house (nothing new there, then), and even less sleep than usual for me. But it is totally worth it! See you on the other side… with my brand new manuscript!

Thursday 30 July 2015

This Writer is Getting On It!

This year is shaping up to be rather productive for me on the work front. Outwardly, nothing has really changed. I am still officially the mother and housewife, running around after my children, preparing for 'big school,' and observing various monumental developments in their young lives. But aside from all of that, I have managed, and am managing, to actually do some writing! I currently have 4 novels in progress, one of which is close to being polished enough to publish. I am shopping another novel to various publishers, and I am certain it will find a home very soon. I even have enough short stories in my archive to consider publishing an anthology, although that is a seed of an idea at present.


So, what about the other side of writing? That murky, uninspiring, necessary task of marketing and selling books? At present I am the only one spreading the word about my, uh, words. I have no team of professionals on hand to assist. I  have no marketing budget to speak of. It is just little old me, emerging from the shell, and actually talking about my books, in public, after rather a long absence. I will kickstart this new phase of authorhood with my involvement in the upcoming Scribe literary festival in October. More details will follow, as we are currently awaiting the official media launch, but the event is shaping up to be a good one, and I am very excited to be sharing the stage with some impressive local authors. If you are located near Middlewich, Cheshire, check back here for an official press release later in August... I will follow up the literary festival with events in 2016, all to be confirmed. See you soon!

Tuesday 23 June 2015

I Need a Writing Retreat… Hello #CampNaNoWriMo!

My writing has not been forthcoming of late. It is all my own fault. I have allowed myself to stray from the path. I have become too easily distracted by domestic activities, holidays, social events and the like. At the moment the only writing I manage to do on a regular basis is for my blogs, and even that is becoming sketchy during recent weeks. Life is getting in the way, as the old saying goes. I need a break. I need… #CampNaNoWriMo.

My main problem with writing is that I flutter about and do not immerse myself fully in my work at the moment. It was easier when I was writing the first three installments of the Redcliffe novels. Back then I would put my daughter to bed at night and settle down for three-five hours of solid writing. And it was brilliant. I thrived on it. The story burst forth from my mind, the characters leaped onto the page, and my Muse was alive and vibrant. And then something happened. It was around the time I became pregnant with my second child. My Muse went on strike. And she has not yet properly returned.


I have had flashes of inspiration, but nothing that gives me the incentive to sit down at my computer and just write. I have had a couple of evenings where I managed an hour here and there. I have a couple of completed manuscripts that need further editing so that I can send them to publishers. I also have a complete edited novel that has so far not been snapped up by a publisher or agent. I cannot imagine why. Who wouldn’t want to publish a novel called The Vampire of Blackpool?

Anyway, I am fed up with my procrastinating. I need to write. I need to write properly. And for that I need deadlines, encouragement, a sense of purpose. And here comes #CampNaNoWriMo. Perfect! For the whole month of July I can immerse myself in a virtual log cabin in the wilderness of the wild and distant Internet, and I can write my story, whatever that may be. I think this one is about a lone vampire lurking beneath the streets in Manchester. I am not sure. I will ask my Muse for help. Perhaps she will be coaxed out by the promise of a hot chocolate with marshmallows… Who is with me? See you later, campers!

Join my tribe today, and I will send you a fabulous FREE book to get you started… (be warned, my vampires do not sparkle, and my wolves will bite!) 

Wednesday 3 June 2015

Writing is Essential to my Daily Routine

I write every day. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, and for several months now, I have been mentally beating myself up because I have no new short stories to publish, and all my novels in progress are awaiting further improvement and editing. I have been getting very irate with myself for not beginning any new projects. I mean, I have several notebooks full of story ideas, snippets of conversation, character descriptions, and more, and yet I fail to implement or utilize those ideas. Even my blogs are falling behind. I typically write two or three new blog posts each week on this blog, and on my personal blog site, SpookyMrsGreen. Again, I have plenty of ideas. My diary is filling up with titles and descriptions. I have rough blog posts saved on my computer.



And yet, somehow, I feel like I am not writing. Perhaps it is because I spend too much time comparing myself to other authors, who all seem to have their writing planned and in action. Everyone else is firing out their new novels and story anthologies. Why can’t I do the same? The answer is simple: I am writing. I am always writing, whether it is a plan formulating in my mind as I wash the dishes, hastily scribbled notes in my diary or notebook, or more serious sessions on my computer. It is just a little more scattered at present. But it will all come together eventually. I hope.

*Image found via WordzNerd Debz

Tuesday 12 May 2015

It is Time to Get my Act Together #amwriting

The past five years have been a whirlwind of chaos and confusion, excitement and drama for me and my family. During this time I quit my safe, full time office job in order to pursue my dream career, I got married, I got pregnant, and now I am a housewife with two young children. There was lots of other stuff as well, but I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice to say, I have been very busy.

Now, because of being busy in my domestic life, I have neglected to devote the proper time and attention to developing my writing career. There have been lots of ups and downs while I alternately celebrated my successes, and commiserated my failures. It is an endless cycle in the world of small business, and especially so when it comes to the modern world of book publishing and writing.


I envisioned a career where I could spend my days writing my stories, and where I could earn a comfortable income from book sales. This was a very naïve vision, as I now understand. I waded blindly into my new dream without assessing the situation, and I am not a natural  business person. But I am willing to learn. And I am always learning.

All the advice I receive tells me to set up a business as a writer of some sort, whether it be ghost writing, proofreading and editing, technical writing or similar. So I have tried it. I have drifted from one part time job to another during the past few years, and all have the same basic catch: they do not pay. Most internet based companies will try and persuade a new writer that they can build their portfolio by writing articles for free, or these companies pay an absolute pittance that does not constitute a living wage here in the Western world. I have done my work experience. My portfolio is healthy. Now my wallet needs to catch up.


I need to get my act together. I need to assess exactly what kind of writing I want to do for my career. My personal life is also a very big distraction. We cannot afford external childcare in order for me to go out to work (I know, crazy!). But we hope to send our toddler to preschool in September when her older sister starts primary school. Then, perhaps, I will find time to settle down and actually write all of the stories that I have scribbled in snippets in my notebooks. That is where my heart lies. That is my career dream. I cannot be an author if I do not continue to write (and publish) new stories. So I will knuckle down, stop being distracted, and write. I will!

Monday 2 March 2015

Coming Out of the (Writing) Closet

My heart was pounding. I felt slightly nauseous. Even sweating a little. This was Big News. I was about to finally confirm my chosen career in life. Yes, it had taken a while. At almost 30 years old you would think I had it sorted. But, life never quite works out the way you expect. I had been naïve, ill-advised, distracted by other activities, and generally lacking in confidence enough to do what I really wanted. Eventually, I went for it. I started writing. And once I started for real, I mean being a serious, active, doing it writer, I knew this was the start of a beautiful journey.

My first task was to convince my husband that I should give up my full time paid job, take on a part time job closer to home, and spend my free time writing to develop my career. That took a lot of courage actually, especially since we were planning a wedding at the time and were very busy with time-consuming, and expensive, tasks. We had taken on a mortgage for our first home. The house needed (and still does need) a lot of repair work. It’s a very old house. But that was all inconsequential. I had released the demon, so to speak, and the demon was demanding that I be a writer.


My parents knew that I enjoyed writing. They knew I was an avid reader. It was my mother who introduced me to the library from a young age, and continued to encourage my creativity as I grew older. I excelled at English and creative writing classes in school. I chose to do a degree in Media Studies at university. Everything was intended to see me follow through into a creative writing career. But, as I mentioned, I got distracted. And I never quite had the guts to write a story that I would actually show to people, one that could be published and released into the public domain.

It had to happen eventually. Something clicked, I did a lot of soul searching and spiritual work, and finally I decided to go for it. I submitted my first short story to a competition for an anthology. It was accepted. I submitted a story to another anthology. That publisher came back and asked if I had any other stories to publish. They soon helped me to bring Love Hurts (A Redcliffe Novel) out into the world, followed soon after by its sequels, Love Kills (A Redcliffe Novel) and Love Redeems (A Redcliffe Novel).



Even now, with four published novels behind me, and several short stories around and about, I struggle with the concept of calling myself a writer. Well, I did. I don’t any more. It took me a while to accept that I wouldn't necessarily earn millions of pounds in royalties overnight. Authors had always been these mysterious, elevated entities that existed in a world of which I could never be accepted. Well, now I am there. I am an author. And for those of you reading this who are struggling with the demand for your writing and your ‘day job’ I say this: Be proud of who you are. Believe in your stories. They are important. And they will be told, to the right people, at the right time. Have a lovely week!

Sunday 25 January 2015

How to work when you have Children

This is the ultimate conundrum, isn’t it? Especially if you are a woman. Yes, I said it. I put it out there! In our enlightened twenty-first century society, women are still struggling to have careers and make a success of their professional lives. Don’t get me wrong, there are millions of success stories. Behind every female CEO, entrepreneur, famous creative type, there is usually a family demanding her attention. How do they do it? How do they manage to nurture their children, support their husbands and partners, and still give the necessary time and energy to their business? I don’t know.

But I have an idea. I think mostly these women simply do not sleep. And perhaps some of them have more external help than others. I mean, I cannot do it right now. I want to make a success of my writing business. And by success, I mean I want to be a famous author. I want my books to sell in their millions. I want to actually earn money from my book sales, and a decent amount of money at that. I want a regular, sustainable personal income, so that I no longer have to be reliant on my husband. And then maybe he can be more relaxed because he won’t be worrying about money quite so much. Ah, that would be bliss…

Read Love Hurts (A Redcliffe Novel) today
So how do I get started? I am in the very fortunate position of being able to stay at home with my children while my husband goes out to work. I am the housewife and mother. And I never thought that I would ever be in this situation. I always had a vague notion that when I had children, I would put them in nursery school while I went out to work full time. But you know what? I don’t want to do that. Why should I pay someone else for the privilege of raising my children, when I am perfectly capable of doing the job for myself? So, I swallowed my pride, ignored the indignant voice of my ego that demanded I should go out to work and ‘be a successful woman,’ and I accepted my role in the home.

I still struggle with it. Right now I am feeling guilty because I haven’t done any writing or promoting for two weeks. If I don’t talk about my books, nobody else is going to. I am all alone here, in this big wide world, where everyone is shouting to get noticed, and it all becomes a blur of sound and colour, much like a busy rain forest I imagine. Tomorrow I return to work, after a fashion. My eldest daughter will be at preschool, but I still have the toddler at home, and she keeps me very busy. And now I have the task of continuing to clear out my house and make room for new toys after celebrating a birthday. Maybe one day it will all fall into place…

Did you enjoy this article? Join my tribe today, and I will send you a fabulous FREE book to get you started… (be warned, my vampires do not sparkle, and my wolves will bite!) 

Monday 13 October 2014

Inspiration Hits at the Worst Possible Time #amwriting

Picture the scene: it is late morning, and I have finally made it into the shower after chasing my two young children for the past three hours. The baby is asleep, the older child is amusing herself with a quiet game. I breath a sigh of relief, step into the steaming jet of water, and lather up my shampoo. And that is when it happens. Something clicks into place, a flash of inspiration darts across my mind, and suddenly I have the most fantastic idea for a series of blog posts that might, just might, bring in enough readers and sharers to actually sell some books! Hallelujah! I have to write them down, now, this minute, before I forget.

But wait, I'm all soapy. I only just got in the shower, and if I go rampaging around the house like a mad thing, the dog will start barking, the baby will wake, and all will be lost. So I stop. I take a deep breath, I hold on to those inspirational thoughts, and then I hurriedly finish off with my shower. Diving out of the bath, I wrap the towel around me, hurry downstairs, find my notebook, and finally the words are recorded. Now I will not forget. Now, I have ideas. Phew! Oh, and there would have been a post-shower selfie to accompany this post if I had my mobile phone. But I don't. That is a long story involving my baby, my smartphone, and a concrete floor. You can guess what happened next...

See you next time! #amwriting

Friday 10 October 2014

A Creative Mind filled with Ideas. I Just Need to Write it Down!

Recently I am falling into the classic trap of the writer; I am procrastinating even though I have a deadline looming and a head full of ideas for story fillers. I don't know why I am doing this. The deadline in question is not fixed by contract, so that is part of the problem. It is simply the deadline for a short story competition that I want to enter. So why can't I actually write it? I mean, I even have the rough thing written down in diary form, because the idea comes from a personal experience a few years ago. I don't understand what my problem is!


I have notebooks filled with scrawled snippets to be included in future stories. My head is scrambled because the words are desperate for release. I sit down at my computer with the intention of writing, and somehow I distract myself with social media, and emails, and blogs, and every other little piece of the puzzle that fit together to form the life of the 21st century indie author. And then I am interrupted at frequent intervals to deal with my children, or my dog, or do that little household chore that I've been meaning to do all week... and the list goes on.


How do I move on from this? How can I stop myself from procrastinating when I know I should be writing? I need to be strict. I need to time my writing schedule more effectively so I don't get interrupted by needy children. I need to do a whole lot of things to make it all work. But you know what? Right now it doesn't matter. The stories will come when they are ready. They are always there, always waiting. Some days they force their way out, and on those occasions I embrace the mood and simply write. That is just how I work. How do you work? Do you procrastinate, or do you just write?

Friday 1 August 2014

Not Quite a #CampNaNoWriMo Winner

Well, I didn't win Camp NaNoWriMo this year! I am not upset about it, however. In fact, I feel quite proud that I finally did some writing, even if it was only 8068 words towards my original target of 25,000. I have been on such a depressing emotional roller-coaster lately, as I try desperately to write and market my books single-handedly while raising two young children by myself. The only relief is that I have a husband to earn the family income. If I had that responsibility as well, I think I would just give up altogether, at least for a while.

Anyway, back to the subject. Ah, the joys of being a writer. We always seem to sidetrack, our minds whirl away into another time and place, and we take far longer to reach our original destination because of all the distractions. So I didn't win Camp NaNoWriMo this year. No matter. I thoroughly enjoyed participating in the challenge, and in the future I look forward to having more time to devote to actually exploring the forums and interacting with my cabin mates. And, ultimately, I have another WIP to add to my collection, and I will continue to work on it when my children allow, so that I can build my portfolio over time.

As for the marketing, well, that is always ongoing. It will improve when I learn more, when I understand more about where to spend my time and effort, and ultimately, when I sell more books. At least when I have a regular income I can outsource some of my work... ah, that will  be a joy and relief!

Monday 13 January 2014

Being a Writer vs Being a Mother

I am really struggling to write anything at the moment. It is such a strange feeling, because in the space of three years I wrote and published 4 novels and 3 short stories. My Muse was shouting at me constantly so that I always had some form of dialogue or story running circles in my mind, until it was written down. I have notebooks full of scribbled excerpts, blog ideas, story ideas, and even prompts to help me out on occasions like this. Yet with all of this material, I have nothing to say.



What  is this bizarre affliction? Is it writers' block? Is it laziness? Or is it something much more simple; children? Ha ha, that made you stop. Yes, I blame the children. Not that they have done anything wrong, you understand. My biological clock was ticking and so while I was frantically writing my masterpieces of literary fiction (or rather, commercial paranormal fiction), I was also incubating and birthing children. I now have a very active 3 year old daughter, and a very demanding but totally adorable 5 month old daughter.


During the Christmas holiday I took time to rest and recuperate after a very hectic year in 2013. I spent some time thinking about my situation and mulling over my options. Where could I fit in time to write and continue to develop my professional career? Ultimately I decided that it is not feasible right now. Technically I am still on maternity leave, and I have the luxury of a husband whose job pays the bills, so for now I will focus on my family and leave my notebooks alone. I will still write. I intend to develop my blogs more and update them regularly throughout the year. I will also return to my manuscripts and story prompts as and when I find the time and energy. I am still a writer, but I am also a mother, and that is my priority right now.

Join my tribe today, and I will send you a fabulous FREE book to get you started… (be warned, my vampires do not sparkle, and my wolves will bite!)