Hello and welcome to the Hump Day Hook. Here is an excerpt
from my third book Love Redeems (A Redcliffe Novel), where our reluctant
witch Jessica has had a run-in with the alpha werewolf and her wayward animal
familiar. As always, the vampires are never far behind when they sense trouble
brewing…
I gasped when
I found Marcus Scott standing before me.
He was staring at me with interest, his silvery-blue eyes full of curiosity
and intrigue. His skin was pale, and I
could see his fangs protruding when he smiled.
I didn’t know whether to smile or snarl at him, given our interaction
only a few hours ago. I was definitely
angry. This whole sorry mess was his
fault.
“Why are you
here, Marcus?” I asked moodily.
He dropped
into a squat before me, staring intently at my face. I knew that he was trying to decide whether to touch me or
not. I moved away from him, struggling
to stand up but making it clear he was not welcome when he reached out to help
me.
“I came to
see Jack,” Marcus replied, “What happened here?”
He
straightened up as I stood, and he gestured to the room. I realised he could sense the energy that
still lingered, and maybe he had seen Jack and Danny. I wasn’t sure.
“You,” I
said, “That’s what happened.”
“Ah,” he said, “You refer to our liaison
earlier. That was not entirely my
fault, Jessica.”
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I like her answer when he ask what happened. I can sense that he is not welcome the way you depict her body motion and I can hear her voice in my head.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm glad you liked it!
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DeleteLOL- great dialogue.
ReplyDeleteNew follower here.
~Decadent.
My Blog
Ooh hello, thanks for stopping by!
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DeleteWonderfully flowing dialogue. It took me a few lines to realise I was reading first person, as normally they irritate me and I have a hard time reading them. Not so with this snippet. Well done!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ellen, I'm glad I could improve your expectations!
Deletegreat hook!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteHmmmm...so why is she on the floor I wonder. Nice hook, well done.
ReplyDeleteGot you guessing? She intervened in a fight between her lover and his identical twin brother, and her animal familiar 'stepped in!' Thanks for stopping by.
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DeleteVery nice description of Marcus. In those short sentences, I can really see him.
ReplyDeleteThank you, he is quite a character!
DeleteThank you, he is quite a character!
DeleteLove that dialogue, well done!
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