Hello and welcome to the Hump Day Hook. Today I will share
another excerpt from my manuscript for NaNoWriMo 2012. The novel is called The
Vampire of Blackpool, and I was quite pleased with the result. I have yet
to return to the project for edits, but I certainly plan to have this one
published in the future. Enjoy!
Before either of them could make sense of what
I was, I struck at the girl, biting her throat and drinking deeply of her
blood. She screamed loudly, but it soon faded as she fell unconscious in my
grasp. The boy stared in horror, as I raised my eyes to look at him while I
fed. He soon gathered his senses however, and I realized just in time that he
was about to hit me with the torch. He was strong, but no match for me. Rearing
up from his girlfriend’s body, I hissed at him and smacked his arm hard. The torch flew across
the garden and landed with a thud in a flowerbed. The boy stared at me, struck
dumb by his terror. He stuttered and managed to find his voice.
“You’re a…a…” he gave up talking as I reached across to grab
his jacket.
“Yes,” I replied smoothly, my eyes glowing silver and
my skin translucent in the moonlight, “I am a vampire. We do exist.”
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Absolutely terrifying moment for this young couple. Well done!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it just? Thanks for commenting!
DeleteI love the rawness of this excerpt! You don't try to candy coat what he really is, which I think is fabulous! Great hook! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! Actually, the vampire is a woman, just to shake things up a little!
DeleteMy goodness, the intensity of the moment. I'm very intrigued by this vampire's story. Great hook.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah!
DeletePowerful job of describing this predator and the hapless couple. I'm glad you will publish it. Love the silver eyes.
ReplyDeleteThanks Flossie! Oh yes, all my vampires have silver eyes, I love their hypnotic quality.
DeleteHe seems truly devilish... great hook!
ReplyDeleteShe certainly is, thank you!
Deletegreat hook. Wonderful description.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lacie!
DeleteI hope she didn't kill her. What's she gonna do to him?
ReplyDeleteWell, she is a hungry vampire... I'm afraid their prognosis is not good!
DeleteOoh, fab description. Great hook!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lucy!
DeleteNice description. I kind of feel sorry for this couple...lol. Thanks for sharing, Catherine. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. Yep, it's a hard life when there's a vampire in town!
Delete